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My Big Red Couch

Friday, September 30, 2005

How Random is That? (Clarification)

It was a rock that came through the window that took out my tooth. I failed to mention that. Finding the culprit will be a CSI feat. The floor of the pick-up (which hasn't been vaccumed for at least 48 hours) is covered with pebbles of all shape and size, not to mention shards of spit tooth, Cheerios(tm), other small child edibles (all stale or headed there, mind you) and whatever other detritus collects on the floor of a truck over the course of a summer, er, I mean 48 hours.

Blood of the Vampire

Last night I found the Liquor Snob blog. There was a review of Blavod, black vodka. Being the experimentalist (is that a word?) that I am I went out and grabbed a bottle. Yum. I don't suppose it's really any different tasting than any other vodka but the things you can do with black liquid. Mwahahahaha!

So, after a night of wondering what to do, the epiphany of a decent recipe and about a half hour's research to see if the drink already exists I came up with Blood of the Vampire (it's my drink I can call it what I want to)!

Here's the recipe:

1 1/2 oz Blavod
1 1/2 oz Ouzo
Shaken with ice.

Voila! Blood of the Vampire! It gets this bluish green milky color from the Ouzo.

Awesome drink. Give it a try.

They Call Me Mr. Ghetto

Check out the bling (if only I knew what that meant)!

But seriously, the dentist pumped the first shot of numb stuff into my mouth and it did nothing to the effected tooth. It made the back of my mouth numb but not the front. Shot number two and I'm STILL numb from the top of my right ear to my adam's apple.

I got a filling. A little wad of plastic and glue painted up to match my natural off yellow "real" teeth.

Thursday, September 29, 2005

How Random is That?

I've broken a lot of stuff. Recently even. I dropped my iPAQ a couple of years ago and the glass cracked. I dropped my backpack with my laptop in it this time last year and my laptop screen went blotto. A few weeks ago a hippie bumped into me, knocking me backwards into a table and the LCD screen on my Nikon camera got smashed.

Today something else got smashed. Low tech even.


Here's how it went. I'm driving home from school minding my own business feeling pretty good. I've got the radio cranked, Metallica is on, and I've made every light from school almost to home. The windows are mostly down and the cool autumn air is coming in. And it's not alone.

What are the odds of this? It's like calling the pocket in pool or calling your phreaky shot in basketball. "Through the window, off the Nalgene bottle, over the lip." That was it. A clink on the bottle and a pop to my tooth.

My first thought, "what the fuck was that." Then I started spitting tooth shards. My second (and pretty much all consecutive thoughts, "Fuck!" "Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck." At least I've got insurance, but FUCK!

The tooth is sheared at an angle, from the top in the front angling down to almost my gums, probably an 1/8 of an inch up from my gums. The nerve is a little exposed and, after haggling with the dentist's office, my appointment is for 10am tomorrow. I don't mind the dentist so it's no big deal there, but it is time away from my desk and the curse of not brushing my teeth for the next half day. FUCK!

And I didn't loose an eye so technically it is all still fun and games.

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

PocketMod: My New Best Friend

Corinne two weekends ago said "I can do anything for a month." I think she's right. For the month of October I intend to experiment with PocketMod: The Free Disposable Personal Organizer

What does that mean? My greatest hope is that I will become more organized. Hopefully I will be able to keep better track of Jamie's, the girls and my own schedules. I know none of the electronic organizers I have (or have had) ever seemed to help much (beyond those "5 minutes till" reminders). I will let you know on November 1st.

I dreamed

I love this cartoon by Dushan Wegner.

This was a recommendation by The Cartoonist whose musing are inspiring, for me anyway

Tuesday, September 27, 2005


The Nikon Jamie bought me for Father's Day, the most expensive thing she's ever gotten me, was destroyed when I was out at the Beer Tooth (aka Bear Tooth Theatre Pub).

It happened like this. I finished my second beer after finishing taking both notes and pictures for my Strobelight story on the Whipsaws playing a benefit show for Hurricane Katrina relief. So, I set down my empty glass, turn around and begin heading up the aisle and some drunken Hippie (yeah, I know I'm sterotyping) stumbles into me and knocks me back into one of the tables. My butt cheek knocks the table, the butt cheek with pocket the camera is in, and the LCD on my Nikon is smashed. Waaaaaaaaah!!!

So, I do a frantic few days of research for something with photo stabilization and the camera that gets recommended in my price range is the Canon S1 IS. It arrived yesterday afternoon (Monday). I played with it a little yesterday and a little more today. It's not quite Jamie's camera but it has way more features than my little Nikon 5600 had.

Here's a shot taken this evening on the back deck of Ted, resident peanut picker and my personal totem (definition #2).

He seems like such an angry little bastard sometimes but I know he loves me (at least for the peanuts).

More FUCK this website

I sent a link to my last post to a few close friends. My friend Krista, who I share with Jamie, that is to say that I haven't stolen her completely, replied with this tale of the ruination of children:

    "i saw the book at title wave and of course, the kids (her neices) were drawn to the beautiful pink cover. i couldn't resist the moment while kallie sounded out the title slowly and turned to me with big eyes...yes, kallie (Kallie being her neice), that's the 'f' word."

Doesn't it just warm your heart?

Sunday, September 25, 2005

FUCK this website

This is hilarious. Juvenile, but hilarious.

FUCK this website

Thursday, September 22, 2005

Eat Paste

I made this image. I found a picture of a bottle of Elmer's brand glue, clipped the cow and added my message. Eat Paste! Say it loud. Say it proud. It's not a claim, it's a demand. Eat paste. I'm putting this on a t-shirt.

Eat Paste. I mean it.

The Fine Line Between Friendship Bracelets and Pulliing Teeth

Madeleine has been the "It" girl at school for the past few weeks. Ms. B, her teacher, said she is helping all of the girls make friendship bracelets. Isn't that sweet (and by sweet I mean disgustingly girly)?

I spent about an hour in Mad's class this afternoon, doing Thursday folders, hanging apple fraction pictures and adding ghost letters to the Kindergarten kids names (so they can practice, don'cha know).

Being in Mad's class is always great. I made some new friends (Jennifer, who wouldn't leave me alone, and Noah, who wanted to know where my magic wand was from Parent's night earlier this week).

Ms. B seemed more settled and was actually having fun.

Mad has become quite the Diva. She's got her posse and they were all tying friendship bracelets. Then one of the girls said she needed to use some of the friendship floss to pull her loose tooth. "I'll do it when I get home," she calmly told them.

Here at home she's a chicken shit and won't let me go near her mouth.

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

Parking Lot Visitor

Curious to see who has visited my site locally I zoomed in on Anchorage hit this site logged at gVisit and clicked the hybrid button. I figured it would be somebody's house or maybe the wirecenter for one of the ISPs.

I was wrong. It was the parking lot at Cafe Del Mundo on Benson.

Either they were out in the parking lot "stealing" Cafe Del Mundo's free wireless or Google's maps are a few yards off.

Which leads me to ask the question...

Why, oh why, would anyone waste their laptop battery on my blog? Posted by Picasa

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

Music of the Gods

If I had a church and my church had a choir this would be in the hymn book.

Devo - Mongoloid (acapella)


"There's a cute fucking mouse under my desk!"
One of Madeleine's McToys or Genevieve's things I guess.
"Jon! Get down here. NOW!!!"
Jamie's all freaking out because there's a mouse downstairs. She's calm for a minute, then whenever it scurry's across the room she screams like a little girl (I know what a little girl screams like; I've got two of them).

Monday, September 12, 2005

Daily Oddity

Is it sad / strange / horrid / pathetic that the highlight of my day today has been pulling the hairs from my right nostril? Circle all that apply.

PS - I am reserving the left nostril for the excitement known as "tomorrow."

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

flickr Badge

Jamie insists I need another ID in my money clip (especially since The Press doesn't issue credentials). Posted by Picasa

Odd Moment of the Day

In the Dowling / Seward Highway roundabout I cranked the radio, tuned to classic rock, blaring Roundabout by Yes. Doi!

Thought For The Day

People say, "I'm happier than shit." Just how happy is shit (please don't answer)?

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

Question of the Day

You can't just set it out at the curb so how do you get rid of a garbage can?

Monday, September 05, 2005

Just Plain Wrong

On our way out of the Alaska State Fair Jamie said "hey! We didn't check out the photographs." So we did. The sad news is the photographs are right next to the "art." So much for art. This is wrong in so many ways.

I don't know what it is ,whether it is the winter scene or the forlorn look on the clown's face. Posted by Picasa

Sunday, September 04, 2005

Word of the Day

Jamie is as wonky as they come (spurred by a conversation relating to cucumbers).

All the English majors I know...

... are either incredibly bad with metaphors, incredibly good at mixed metaphors or they purposefully use mixed metaphors or misstated metaphors just to toy with me.

If you are one of the numerous English majors I know I might just be talking about you. Let’s just let bygones be pastime or something.

Where do I get my inspiration for this sort of drek?

Ten Precepts From The Art of War That Never Made It Past Sun Tzu's Editor
2. Confuse your enemy with mixed metaphors. Be like the wind beneath his keel.

Saturday, September 03, 2005

The Week That Wasn't

It all started last Sunday when I splattered myself and one of the range bikes on the asphalt. Sunday night I got the news that Jim Fleming, a motorcycle friend, died of a massive corronary Saturday afternoon. Monday I spent most of the day on the couch at work licking my wounds and pittying myself. Tuesday was my first day of classes at UAA. That went well, but I wasn't my usually enthusiastic self (see the previous comment about wound licking) and it rained Tuesday evening so Jamie and I did not get to ride (motorcycle) like we had planned. Wednesday I was supposed to make a Men Against Breast Cancer presentation at an American Cancer Society function, then make a presentation to Jr. High teachers of my sample machine in the Mission Possible category of the Science Olympiad. This was canceled because of a work commitment that came up suddenly. Thursday was Jim's funeral. The funeral itself was surreal to me (I've been out of Catholocism for a long time) and I was really down when I got to UAA to teach. Class went well but when I got home Jamie told me Mad was sick and needed to go see the doctor. Jamie called around 8pm and told me Mad had advanced pneumonia and was being admitted to the Children's Hospital at Providence Alaska Medical Center. Finally, I was supposed to spend the weekend writing but that had been canceled prior to Mad being diagnosed and admitted.

So, here it is Saturday and I'm whining about the week that wasn't. Madeleine is still in the hospital and it looks like I will be spending another night on a bench that folds into a bed wondering when my kid will get to come home and be a kid again.

And I feel bad because I still have a house and I still have a family and my world is safe and secure. I'm being whiny. A hurricane did not just destroy my world. The economy has not taken my job. I have not lost a loved one to either war or disaster. My life is good. Where do I get off complaining about my tiny little troubles when the world is in such choas?

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