One Last Ride

Lensbaby Bobbie (RIP), originally uploaded by Bearded Jon.

I never pictured our last ride in the truck to be like that. Usually you would sit up and even though you couldn't see and couldn't hear you would look around and pant for a little while before lying down. This trip you started and ended with your head on the bench seat next to me, unmoving except for the shallow rise and fall of your chest.

It was hard to find the words, to ask the clerk, to tell her what needed to be done. I carried you into the room and they weighed you. I sat on the floor with you, scratching your neck, scratching your ears, giving you what little pleasure I thought I could give.

They took you to put in a catheter. I was left in the exam room with back issues of Dog Fancy and Cat Life and literature on spaying and neutering your pet. There was nothing in that room that could take me away, not even for a moment.

When the orderly carried you back in you had a green wrap on your right foreleg holding in the catheter. I tried to look in your eyes but you pulled away. Were you angry at me or were you angry at yourself? I know you wanted to walk, whether for me or for you, but your legs just wouldn't carry you anymore.

I knelt before you with your head between my knees and stroked your neck. This is how it would end.

The doctor came in, gave you a sedative, the death drug and within moments you were gone. 8:59pm on a Tuesday in April and you were gone.

I love you Bobbie. Goodbye.

Bobbie Dog (early 1990's - 2007)